The Best Thing That Happened This Week: An End to the Summer From Hell

We’ve never, ever been so ready for back-to-school.

There have been, in our lives, summers we look back on fondly. The summer on the verge of concluding won’t be one of them. Allow us to refresh your memory: Bike wars. Kids getting shot. Lane Johnson suspended. The DNC. Seth Williams overlooking a few things. Kathleen Kane. Bruce fucking Castor. SEPTA’s Silverliners. Hillary’s emails. Donald’s wall. Joel’s foot. Bill Cosby. Dead fish. Dead flipboard. A farewell to Carlos Ruiz. This clown. Pokemon Go. That hipsters-dressed-in-white thing. The Rizzo Wars. A sports championship at last — one that nobody cares about. A meltdown on North Broad. Dwayne from Swedesboro. The FBI and Johnny Doc. Heat. More heat. God, what is with this damned heat? Come on, Hermine, ruin our Labor Day weekend — and blow this sorry season the hell out of here.

Follow @SandyHingston on Twitter.